removing toxic emailers

Adrian adrian.wilkins@gmail.com
Wed Apr 14 23:09:31 GMT 2021


Eric S. Raymond <esr@thyrsus.com>:
> there is actually a value conflict between being "welcoming" in that
sense and the actual purpose of this list, which is to ship code.

Speaking as a "high functioning autist", I'm aware of the difficulties that
some of us have with social interactions - and also that many of us
construct a persona or multiple personae to interact with others, a
phenomenon known as "masking".

I understand why "Asshole" can function as a viable mask for many people,
because there are cultures where it's tolerated, particularly in
remote-working groups like mailing lists, where physical altercations are
unlikely and no-one has to confront the results of their interactions with
others if they don't want to.

It doesn't necessarily follow that "smart" == "asshole" though.

I disagree fundamentally that the assessment that the code contributions of
such people are necessarily more positive than those of the people they
drive away - *especially* people like me, another high-functioning autist,
because our difficulty with social interaction often includes a phenomenon
called RSD - Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria - characterised by a
disproportionately overwhelming response to criticism amongst other things.

I've been coding for the better part of 4 decades and generally have
confidence in my ability, and still balk at participating in Free and OSS
projects where the lead members have an abrasive and confrontational style.
I learned to avoid these people (well, maybe the less smart people whose
mask they are copying) at school. Note - I'm not talking about constructive
criticism, I'm specifically talking about being unnecessarily unpleasant.

In contrast I still remember (and talk about) experiences contributing to
projects where the leads have been nothing but friendly and helpful.

It's not just about "the code alone" of one or a few talented "autist"
persons. These projects are intrinsically about community - that's baked
into the license. No-one really "codes alone". The code you never see
because people don't want to join in _could_ be just as great - but if
presenting as assholes has always been and always will be tolerated, maybe
you'll never see it.

Adrian Wilkins


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